I finally exited my 20-year teaching career in June, I met with a new doctor to discuss my decade-long perimenopause but instead chatted about everything else including my t-shirt from Puerto Rico with a bell hooks quote, then my son got married. These things are the definition of ‘bittersweet’ in my world: I relished teaching yet it drained me; perimenopause is a vexing scourge yet Dr. K knows that we need to build a relationship in order to fight better together; I am overjoyed for my son & new daughter-in-law yet their marriage means he is officially a grown man with his own whole life apart from me.
I know I need to explore the silo of feelings all of this has created in me but for now I’d rather shop the upcoming Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (Apparently I’m an Influencer Cardmember with early access!) with the remains of my teacher paycheck, listen to Leon Bridges and Harry Styles on repeat, and fill in all the new calendars I got that start in July for some strange but satisfying reason. Soon I’m going to get back into my daily habit of meditating with Andy* & Kessonga on the Headspace* app, writing morning pages on the porch with black tea and squirrels, and cooking actual meals with multiple sides/not [just] salt & vinegar chips. I might start riding the stationary bike again while listening to podcasts. I hope to resume volunteer work at Portland Art Museum and OPB. I am definitely going to more concerts with my Seattle bestie; the dates are already on those new calendars. And I’ll probably need to find a paying job of some sort too, so help me manifest an opening at a library or bookstore where I can organize things in peace plus have a few weeks off throughout year to be a personal assistant at comic cons around the world. #NotUnrealistic
Oh and I’m planning to post thoughtful/possibly interesting things at least once a week (bold for accountability) so keep an eye out for that maybe. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m actually writing - is this the newsletter? a blog post? a Note?
I’m following some very cool people who seem to know wtf they’re doing so hopefully I’ll get in a good groove soon. Thank you for being here with me.
*I previously referred to this person & app by the wrong names, which I’ve been using in my mind for years.
You had me at Fuckery.
periomenopause is indeed a scourge. And Congratulations on this NEW CHAPTER!