Like any good Virgo, I tried to plan my first child’s birthdate. I knew better than to really try for a specific day but did consult my Secret Language of Birthdays tome to figure out the best month match for our family, and hopefully also land on a great author or musician. That’s not weird, right? Anyway. Our son was born two weeks before his due date, five days after my midwife told me we had plenty of time and 30 hours after I sweated through a production of RENT at the Moore Theater in Seattle. Even though I didn’t arrange it myself, he serendipitously arrived on the birthday of singing cowboy Gene Autry and the glorious & hilarious Madeline Kahn.1 From that moment on, our boy has done everything his own way with the most charm, grace, and keen humor.
In writing about his baby sister, I mentioned our son’s generally cautious manner, his commitment to neatness, and his affability. Those traits2 have been largely consistent from babyhood to this day, though the manifestations3 have shifted at times. From preschool through middle school, he was masterful at cosplay4 and enjoyed trying all kinds of extracurricular programs from tap dancing to karate to Oregon Children’s Theatre classes. Those things don’t usually fall under the ‘cautious’ description but his need for detail (getting all the required garb & equipment just right) + social interaction overruled any wariness; as long as he felt prepared, he was up for a show in one way or another. Into high school and college, he shifted his performance energies to band - concert, jazz, and marching - and trying on a variety of majors.
Because he’s my kid,5 this boy started hanging onto and actively collecting tokens from everyday experiences: figurines, coins, magnets, candy wrappers, magazine pictures. He outgrew his first bedroom - bodywise + toys + ephemera - by the time he was 5 so we moved him down the hall. I attached a metal M to the door as a sort of welcome, which he took as implied permission to add more decor. First a variety of KEEP OUT signs showed up, then stickers from successful dentist & doctor visits. Little doodles he drew in the car, leftover pieces of craft kits, parts of costumes,6 notes from friends…we should have invested in 3M’s mounting putty.
At first I wondered if it was a good idea, defacing a nice white door, then remembered a) his dad did the same thing as a kid7 and b) it is a very simple thing to replace if necessary but mostly c) what a marvelous way for my child to show his creativity and also remind himself of times he loved, times he was loved, and times he was brave.8
As an adult, our boy beautifully balances the expectations of work, marriage, home ownership, family and friendships; he still engages in cosplay when he has time, and his collection of fun things continues as well, though he smartly shares space (no decorated doors) with his wife.
I’m proud (of all of us), I’m grateful, and I’m honored to be the parent of this remarkable human.
Who, interestingly, once sang in La Bohème which is the opera that RENT is [loosely] based on. #kismet
I have a feeling his wife might disagree about the “neatness” - I’ll say it has moved back & forth along a spectrum from tidiness to organized chaos, and at the very least he always aspires to keeping things orderly.
He would probably say he isn’t really friendly but he is often the first in a group to offer help to someone who needs it, and I’ve witnessed him physically incapable of resisting a chat with people who share a video game, car, or movie interest. Unless he’s actively engaged with one of those things, but then he will still offer someone a seat next to him.
Before I was even pregnant with him, I started collecting garments & funky hats and other costume items from garage sales to keep in a cedar chest I inherited from my grandma - I didn’t know what else to do with it, and remembered how much I loved watching Mr. Dressup as a kid. Thus our boy spent most of his days in some sort of getup: Zorro, Captain Hook, Batman, chef, magician…
I was going to link an appropriate post here about my tendency to collect things but THEY ALL APPLY. Choose your own to reread for evidence.
‘Mason the Mangler’ was his “boxer name,” taped to the back of a robe he wore to a Halloween party with a made-up bruised eye and black tooth wax.
And I color printed, laminated, and carefully cut out the Gryffindor crest for a Harry Potter costume, worn to the last book release at Barnes & Noble, at least one movie viewing, for Halloween, and probably around the house many times.
His parents presented us with that door, removed from its hinges in their home, at our wedding rehearsal dinner. Genius symbolism.
To be clear: one sticker is from his solo trip to Germany as an exchange student, at 17, and at least one other was collected after a chemotherapy day during his summer of treatment at the children’s hospital in 2018.
We raised a good egg