Friday thing : this journal

I'll always have Paris.

I am a great fan of journals¹, and also of writing in them. What I’m not great at is revisiting those journals and using the writing as inspiration for more writing; I’ve even written about this in journals many times². I don’t know what my block is about going back over my writing, beyond the low-level trauma of having looked at some entries from junior high & high school³ but there it is, awaiting my eventual return to counseling and real self-reflection.

Anyway.

This particular journal came with a gift bundle my husband got me for Valentine’s day a few years ago. It is from the actual Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris, which - in case you’re the kind of stable person who does not obsess over/plan trips based on the locations of independent bookstores - is basically a bookshop + reading & writing space and makeshift hostel created by George Whitman in 1951 as an homage to Sylvia Beach’s iconic literary gathering place of the 1920s & ‘30s. I’ve been able to visit it both times I was in Paris, wandering the stacks and stairwells, absorbing the ghostly vibes of authors known & unknown. It’s one of those places, much like the city’s Eiffel Tower I think, that many flock to for reasons they don’t understand but feel compelled to follow then end up having a startling reverence for. And because I’m used to the legendary borderline disdain of Powell’s employees, I appreciated the mild indifference of workers at Shakespeare and Company; I don’t remember being greeted upon entry though maybe I was also in my aspiring writer/history nerd fugue state and missed it. They did not care that I spent most of my time at the bargain book cart and completely bypassed all of the bestseller displays and highbrow philosophy bookshelves; no one asked if I needed help with anything. I gladly paid the cordial-yet-distinctly-unchatty clerk a few extra euros for the branded paper bag with an official gold seal⁴. I was a bit disappointed that no photos were allowed inside the second time I was there in 2018 but I understood the reasoning⁵ and concentrated on more ghost energy absorption instead.

All this to say, this one is my most favorite journal where I record thoughts & observations [to never be read again] because every time I see it, I think of Paris and how I felt in that space, and the good man who gifted me with a piece of it.

Almost full.

Taken by me in the real place, when I was allowed to in 2008.

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1. I have at least 4 blank ones in my office - sometimes the greatest joy is simply choosing them. The second greatest is looking fondly at them waiting on the shelf. Third is writing my name on the inside cover in my best handwriting.

2. I know this only from memory of course.

3. If anyone has a good way of destroying these [with fire?], please tell me in comments.

4. That I displayed on my classroom bulletin board for years and smiled at every day. #Nerd

5. Short answer: Some people are situationally unaware/self-centered jerks.