meditating for overthinkers
Spoiler: It's really hard.
First I need to give praise to the Calm1 Headspace app and the magical voice of Tony Andy for making my mornings far more palatable, even though I grossly misrepresented them in my last post. Frankly, that fully supports the point of this post: Trying to get out of my own head without worrying about how to get out of my own head plus abandoning the life-sucking desire for perfectionism (though I did go back and correct that post). I am notorious for knowing + teaching others how to do things properly while allowing myself to do them haphazardly or even completely wrong. See my painting around door frames, not using an apron, watering all plants the same way, constantly procrastinating, refusing to ask for help especially when something is very heavy. But I keep attempting to do meditation correctly, meaning listening to the experts and following their directions.
Thoughts that I lately allowed “to come and go” as gently commanded by Tony Andy:
It’s really cold in here.
Add olives to the grocery list.
Remember to empty my office garbage.
What is that smell?
I wonder if anyone outside can see me.
F*cking squirrels on the roof again.
My clocks are really loud.
I need to send P’s graduation announcements.*
Tea is ready.
I could really use a shoulder massage.
Remember to wash towels.
Which days is the record store closed, Sunday & Monday or Monday & Tuesday?
What day is today?
Schedule a shoulder massage.
I need to get a sweater.
I think I’m getting better but then I think I’m not supposed to be really thinking about it…right? I know I feel calmer after each session, even if I do head immediately to my organizer to capture all of the To Do tasks that came & supposedly went.
Still, I like to imagine Tony Andy being pleased with my slow, imperfect progress.
*My daughter graduated in December.
I originally wrote this whole post using the wrong names for the app and favorite teacher.
God bless you for sharing the reality. I could no sooner meditate than lose 100 pounds. Won’t make a to do list for fear of paralysis. I can however zone out after work for half hour and not think about much, maybe that counts? I am in awe of your honesty & wit.
During the pandemic I discovered a blog that one of my kiddo's friends was writing. She was a college student. I think it could have been for a class.
Anyways....she had this LONG morning routine and meditation was part of it.
I tried it one morning and the entire routine took HOURS and there was absolutely no way that an adult with a regular job could do this routine without getting up at 3:30 in the morning.
Anyways.... I tried to just do the meditation part and I found it very stressful especially since I have the attention span of a gnat most of the time.
My thoughts were very similar to yours.
Heck.... I can't even listen to a podcast.
Anyways....your post made me laugh out loud. I don't know if that was your intention or not. I wasn't laughing with you.... because you're my friend and I like you...I was simply laughing at the situation. ❤️