what's good* : exploring reality

Plus bonus links & apple cake

*Fair warning - most of this week’s “good” is relative. FYI, I’m going with Merriam-Webster’s “something that is beneficial or useful” more than “agreeable, pleasant” or “handsome, attractive.” And by beneficial or useful I mean worth thinking about. Proceed at your leisure and well-being.

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In poetry: I previously shared a Rachel Wetzsteon poem about a place in NYC - it was lovely and [maybe?] hopeful and inviting piece not just about Manhattan’s Sakura Park but also how Nature (clearly I have A Type when it comes to poets) mirrors humanity - or vice versa? - and what it means for us to want: constancy, security, happiness, recognition…

Today I’m bringing you one of her works that delivers her masterful imagery though with a drastically different tone.

To consider:

• The invocation of Zeno, an ancient guy who liked to point out paradoxes, particularly about the reality of movement and how many things can actually exist

• Capitalizing Chainsaw, and why she would agree to dinner with him/it

• This brilliant image: “as/stockings and scruples flew”

• That title

Feel free to comment with your thoughts.

After Eden by Rachel Wetzsteon

Somewhere Zeno was smiling, the foul
goblins of paradox were wearing
their fairest clothes that night. My Dinner
with a Chainsaw, the evening could have
been called; and when one too many led
to wise judgements too few, “I’m trying
to break up with you!” he shouted as
stockings and scruples flew; and what was
over wasn’t; the brutal doings
were sweeter than a caress; the thrill
of it happening and the horror
of it being an awful mistake
collided like sweaty bodies in
the dark, disheveled room. So this is
moving on, she reflected after
he left. But what was motion? No straight
bright line but a wind every bit as
stormy as the people it carried
away from safety, through towns that froze
and burned, helping them forward but not
letting them forget for a second
their ceaseless looking for what is lost,
their sad resemblance to the quick and
stubborn arrows that never arrive.

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In writing/reading/movies: This week is a bit more complicated than others in that I want to share a post by Noah Berlatsky of “Everything is Horrible” comparing It’s A Wonderful Life and American Psycho, and so also want to discuss my thoughts on those pieces of entertainment.

Let’s start with American Psycho as a book, published by Bret Easton Ellis in 1991. I read it shortly after graduating high school, attracted to the creepily mesmerizing cover at a garage sale and because Ellis was part of the Literary Brat Pack I was idolizing at the time. I devoured their writing and imagined myself as one of them, despite being exactly the opposite of everything they actually were: wealthy, worldly, effortlessly fashionable, alumni of east coast colleges where students actually cared what kind of vodka they were drinking, and could afford to. I remember feeling intrigued yet queasy as the novel unfolded with its unreliable narrator in Patrick Bateman. He was also wealthy, worldly, fashionable (though not so effortlessly), Harvard alum…serial killer. Bateman describes his increasingly brutal murders in explicit detail, but there is a disarming charm in his narration. Not my first encounter with a problematic infatuation but probably the most powerful; casting Christian Bale in the 2000 movie did not help here.

I admit that it took me more than a minute of reading to realize the satire Ellis was developing. Again, I was not really part of the Literary Brat Pack, and sometimes they wrote good (if sardonic) things about their privileged lives. But it became clear that the outrageousness of narrator’s thoughts/remarks/actions were meant to expose those who admired him [rich, superficial, Wall Street types] - while the scenes became progressively horrifying, they were also more and more ridiculous, even comical; Bale’s portrayal showed this perfectly. I appreciated then as now that this kind of writing (or viewing) is not for everyone, and the over-the-top graphic descriptions could be seen as desensitizing. And yet, sometimes we need to look at the monster head-on and through their own eyes to get at a kind of understanding - and to be able to resist its uncanny appeal.

Vintage Contemporaries cover, 1991

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman/Tom Cruise? [see link], 2000

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Now, thoughts on how to compare American Psycho to It’s A Wonderful Life? I had never entertained any before but something led Noah Berlatsky there and the connections are startlingly, unsettlingly astute. And not just because I had disquieting crushes on both main characters. I’ll let his post do the talking because he does it well; check it out and subscribe - he writes more often + about more important stuff than I do.

However, I will share my favorite parts of this classic beloved (or despised, if you’re a heartless realist/Capitalist) Christmas(?) movie.

In no particular order (footnotes with links below the paywall):

• A daughter named Zuzu¹

• The DARLING scene with young Mary whispering her feelings in young George’s deaf ear²

• Its deliciously daring innuendos³

• All of the American history + [some] pertinent social commentary jammed in there⁴

• The (probably unintentionally?) hilarious scene when the angel Clarence doesn’t want to say where Mary is in the No-George-Bailey Universe⁵

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In food: When life get difficult, I like to bake. It is a pretty simple hobby, if one knows how to read/follow directions in a video and operate an oven. Of course you also need an uninterrupted hour or two so you can organize everything, mix properly (chemistry!), not have to remind some children to get off of furniture or to find where the quiet children are or to show a spouse where something has been kept for the last two decades you’ve lived in this house. Anyway, I’ve finally gotten really good at baking. Measuring ingredients and practicing mise en place is almost as satisfying to me as folding clothes. I especially love finding recipes for foods I have too many of and/or are going bad. Thus, Apple Cake, because I really like apples but never eat them as quickly as I think I will. It’s easy-ish to make (the hardest part is chopping the apples - I don’t even peel them unless the skins are particularly wrinkly) and it is universally enjoyed*, even by people who claim to hate raisins. The recipe + a few tips are posted below.

I behave this way, in my actual kitchen.

*unless you have a gluten or egg issue; I’m sorry I don’t have remedies - if you know of an easy fix, please tell me.

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