what's good : in-flight movies

Or, silent awkward crying around strangers

Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

I have a habit of choosing sad movies on plane rides. Actually, they aren’t all sad necessarily but intensely emotional, provoking that sore throat/headache affliction that comes from trying not to weep openly in public. I can’t figure out why this genre is my go-to when flying; the few times I’ve tried watching a rom-com, I grow weary and irrationally mean-spirited before turning it off with a dramatic sigh.¹
Here are my favorite crying movies Seen On A Plane² over the years, with a handy tissue scale for each.

1. Fruitvale Station: The premise of this film is tragic - the 2009 murder of Oscar Grant on a BART platform - yet it is beautifully developed, which makes it even more devastating to witness as it unfolds. The screenplay by Ryan Coogler (who also directed) focuses on the last 24 hours of Grant’s life, introducing us to his mother, girlfriend, 4-year old daughter, and also his struggles as he builds a better life. Michael B. Jordan is particularly mesmerizing and heartbreakingly real in his performance though Octavia Spencer³ is also incredible, as usual, in this post-Oscar win⁴ role as Grant’s mother. This is a nearly unbearable but ultimately necessary watch.
   Five tissues due to the poignant beauty + bleak reality portrayed in less than 90 breathtaking minutes.

2. Anna Karenina: Pretty sure I watched this on the same flight⁵ as Fruitvale Station, while traveling to London, so lots of hours to occupy, which is good because this one is epic-long. It is of course the classic Tolstoy story of an aristocratic woman in Imperial Russia who begins an affair that leads to her dramatic demise. That’s a simplified nutshell description, but this really is an excellent examination of society, women’s roles & choices/lack of agency, and the meaning (necessity? use?) of love. Not only is the acting superbly, appropriately elegant yet passionate⁶ - many of the actors⁷ are theater-trained and/or veterans of other literary adaptations - the staging of the film often relies literally on stages & theatrical props. It is an ingenious conceit, breaking up ‘reality’ by showing behind-the-curtain the movements, overlapping set designs, and using lighting & effects more common in plays.
   Four tissues since the costuming + filming are gorgeously distracting from the ultimate tragedy.

3. Loving Vincent: This extraordinary, luscious painted film is worth watching simply for the artistry involved but the story is also a unique - and uniquely heartwrenching - look at the life & death of Vincent Van Gogh. It begins with the subject of many Van Gogh paintings, Postman [Joseph] Roulin, imploring his son Armand to find a recipient for a letter, written by Vincent to his brother Theo over a year before, after numerous failed delivery attempts. Thus Armand begins a journey, encountering people who knew and loved or loathed or pitied Van Gogh - many of whom were subjects of his paintings. In talking with everyone, Armand becomes intrigued by the artist’s life and wonders if he really died by suicide, as was reported. Much like the gorgeously crushing Dr. Who episode when the doctor and Amy meet the painter, the movie explores the life of this exceptional man with gentle kindness and deep compassion. Though this is a work of fiction, Loving Vincent provides a perspective that many - even/especially today - could use when interacting with and talking about people with mental illness.
   Five tissues, for the utter sorrow mixed with bittersweet moments of joy, and the moving loveliness of the artwork.

4. Belfast: Kenneth Branaugh’s movie memoir, this one is more touching nostalgia than soul-rending sadness, though the writer/director’s choice to have young Buddy tell the story from his child’s eyes brings layers of fear adults often forget about. An unexplainable terror creeps through children when they notice grown-ups worried or afraid; they try to fill in the blanks of what their parents conceal in the interest of preserving innocence. The early history of Northern Ireland’s Troubles emerges around the observant & thoughtful Buddy, who tries to understand the complexities of religion, conflict, hate, and love with this 9-year old mind. He sees the turmoil unfolding in his city, his school, his neighborhood, and his family and tries to find answers (through cinema - the only scenes in color - and sweet encounters with his grandparents & his first love) that will lead to some kind of peace.
   Three and a half tissues - there is devastation in the streets but it’s mercifully overshadowed by gestures of joy & devotion.

5. Paris is Burning: I ought to have watched this remarkable documentary when it came out in 1990, just a handful of years after Jennie Livingston recorded the dynamic goings-on in NYC’s African American and Latino LGBTQ+ ball culture community; I’ve always loved music & enjoyed history, especially their overlap, and this is all about that but with fantastic fashion and loads of attitude mixed in.⁸ But somehow I missed it then and spent the decades afterward only knowing that Madonna’s “Vogue” was connected to it. What eventually made this one a heartbreaker is knowing what likely happened to many of those young people so full of ideas and hope in the late 1980s, when the odds were largely against them.
   I sat watching on the plane more than 30 years later, these raucous, gorgeous chosen families living out loud, wishing they could all still be alive & well in the 21st century.⁹
   Two handkerchiefs, silk ones of course.

6. Men: There isn’t much I can say about this movie without giving away some spectacular twists, except that it is a tightly designed, deeply reflective story about a woman trying to recover from a traumatic incident by retreating to the English countryside. The seemingly simple plot is unwound through Harper’s (the incredibly understated Jessie Buckley) flashbacks as well as her encounters with various men¹⁰ from the village near her rented cottage. As with many Alex Garland films, things are rarely what they seem, and the characters must face the dangers of the unknown as well as their own psyches. I watched this in a state of constant tension, captivated, unable to look away for a second; I am still haunted by many scenes as well as its implications about, well, men.
   One or two tissues, mainly for rage tears.

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1. Most recently Anyone But You, which I really wanted to like because Sydney Sweeney & Glen Powell are fun + pretty + reasonably talented but it was unbearable after 10 minutes. It has been nominated for a few awards though, so maybe my standards are impossibly high.

2. I’m sure they are just as watchable not on an airplane, but you won’t get the sore throat/headache affect by simply sobbing out loud on your couch.

3. Who paid for her own lodging during filming and eventually became an executive producer to help raise moviemaking monies when funding was cut, it was that exceptional a screenplay

4. For Best Supporting Actress in The Help, a decidedly different character from the quietly powerful Wanda Johnson

5. Something might be wrong with my brain.

6. In a variety of the word’s meanings - obviously in the lovey/sexy parts, but Jude Law as Karenin, Anna’s husband, shows his passion for protocol & ideals with startling understatement.

7. Beyond Jude Law & Keira Knightley - Domhnall Gleeson, Alicia Vikander, Emily Watson, Matthew Macfadyen, Ruth Wilson, Kelly Macdonald, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson in lead roles

8. Inspiration for the award-winning series Pose came directly from Paris is Burning, and its creator Jennie Livingston even directed an episode.

9. As of 2021, only three of the main figures in the film are still alive and two worked with the series Pose as consultants.

10. Rory Kinnear shows off his chameleon qualities here, helping to drive home a significant point.