Friday thing : bookweight

A solid reminder of the importance of everything, on my mother-in-law's birthday

I got lucky with my in-laws, apparently. According to all the sitcoms & cartoons I watched growing up - reruns of I Love Lucy, Bewitched, The Flintstones - and even in more modern movies (plus copious prequels & sequels) like Meet the Parents, mothers-in-law in particular are unbearably kooky at best, literal sabotaging sorceresses at worst. Mine was never any of those things, luckily.

Sam had a healthy, loving relationship with her son, which meant that she was properly skeptical of any woman interested in him. I appreciated her pointed questions for me and my intentions as much as I did her kind invitations to visit their home during school breaks. She was smart, funny, and protective of her boy, yet she honored who I was as an individual¹ and made sure I stood up for myself when necessary, and didn’t spoil him too much. I try every day to emulate her as a wife, mother, and now a mother-in-law as well.

This book weight came from the marvelously bougie literary company Levenger - I’m not sure if it was Sam or I who discovered their catalog first but we loved to swoon over the indulgent luxuriousness of its reading- and writing-related products. I can’t remember if we bought this book weight for her or if it was a gift to herself,² but I inherited it when she died far too young, nearly 20 years ago. It has sat unused on a desk or bookshelf most of that time because I treated it as more a decorative talisman than useful tool; Sam would be annoyed with me for doing that as she was a highly practical person. When I revamped my office, I decided to put the book weight in a more prominent place where I would remember to grab it when I was looking through a more ponderous text.³

Waiting for a literary mission, next to the Bakelite basket holding my Lucille Clifton poem; I think Sam would like this placement: ...continue to continue…where…i’m going…

It is made of leather so of course smells luscious. It’s designed for books, something Sam and I both considered almost as important as our children. And it is my favorite kind of red - Levenger calls it Chili Pepper, which works for the warm orange undertones and spicy nature. To me it is also the power & strength & courage of crimson, the joy & love & passion of scarlet, and the simple vitality of lifeblood…exactly the things my mother-in-law was for me.

Happy birthday, Sam.

“Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” ~ Virginia Satir

1. She would probably kindly use the words “strong-willed” and “determined” but I will own “stubborn” and “hard-headed.”

2. One of my favorite traits of hers that I quickly copied.

3. Lately that’s Bobby Berk’s Right At Home and Gastro Obscura. It would be cool to have more books come spiralbound, but then I guess I wouldn’t be using my weight as much as I want to.