Friday thing : gift coupons
I need to redeem a few of these pretty soon...
Tomorrow is my daughter’s birthday. She’s turning 25, a quarter of a century, now older than I was when I got married and believed myself Very Mature. This is not to say that my girl[woman] isn’t Very Mature (though she might be among the first to downplay her level of commitment to adulthood); I mean only to point out that we parents might never truly see our children as fully capable of living on their own, no matter how old they get or what kinds of milestones they achieve. My boy is two years older, actually a husband and a homeowner yet I feel a certain kind of shaky referring to him as a man. It’s a strange type of vision - to look at both of my children and objectively view them as competent grown-up people yet also specifically picture them at 5 or 11 or 16, earnest & confident in their endeavors but ultimately still dependent on (and trusting of) my wisdom and guidance. Sometimes I forget that they have their own beds to return to in different houses after a day of visiting.
To my great delight, both of my kids showed an early desire to follow my own childhood pattern of writing and illustrating something for every occasion. And by occasion I mean all the time.1 My son’s works tended to be more expressions of his thoughts & emotions [see footnote links] while my daughter, aside from inspired personal drawings, would often create charming cards & gifts. I tried to keep as many of their pieces as I could contain in boxes & baskets, though some merited display on my bulletin board. Especially if they offered promises of service like these coupons, which I think was a joint Mother’s Day gift one year.
I vividly remember designing things like this for my parents, who rarely told me what to buy for them, when I grew weary of giving default Generic Grown-up Gifts - socks, cologne and/or lotion, new calendars at Christmastime - or when I was low on funds. I have always been an avid list maker in general so as a parent, I specifically point out2 things that catch my eye throughout the year and continually update my online wish list. However, it is still a particular joy to receive not only original artwork from my kids but insight into their perceptions of me and my wants/needs. Regardless of (or maybe due to?) how much time I spent in their younger years doing household chores & errands, my kids knew that I really valued hanging out with them and friends (“Blah Blah Blah Yadda Yadda”), along with staying in bed [all day3] and getting back rubs.
Even though I can’t stop myself from calling them my babies, I’m continually proud of the young adults they have grown to be. The effort & messages that they put into their artwork (still), no matter how silly they might think it to be, are qualities they both demonstrate now; I see them being observant and thoughtful and supporting out in the world with their family, friends & coworkers, and even strangers. What a true gift that is.
The header for this newsletter & my original blog is the work of my boy…
In person, in family group texts…I am admittedly insufferable. But, never ambiguous!
Clearly I’m an open book.
Well that’s delightful! I think you did good with those two!
We made some pretty good babies