Happy new year! I guess? This one is starting whether we like it or not. And there are a lot of things that fall into the “not” column for me, but I want to focus on the stuff I’m excited about and/or feel prepared to try making better. Remember, I don’t do traditional resolutions in January, and I love feeling akin to Anaïs Nin in this way:
“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.”
I have been thinking and overthinking and losing sleep and sleeping too much during the past few weeks. We’re in the process of looking for a new house, which we hope will feel like a new home, and beyond the myriad details of the basic task - figuring out what we want/don’t want, poring over real estate listings, touring places - there are the endless psychological elements involved, not the least of which is somehow saying thank you and farewell to this house, my home of almost 28 years.1 I know that people do this all the time, some people many times, and I could certainly be less dramatic.2 I’m trying to rein it in.
Luckily, the magically calming Madeline Dore posted just before the end of 2024 with her usual lovely observations & reflections + practical tasks. Like many others, she chooses a word to guide her each year; it’s a practice I’ve considered often - I have always been a proud word nerd - yet never embraced. I’m pretty sure it has to do with my fear of imperfection, of picking the ‘wrong’ word and having to live with that every day, even if only in my own mind. But her post specifically discusses how her word for last year didn’t feel fitting, yet it still gave her learning opportunities. How marvelous and freeing is that? It seems obvious, but then we (I) tend to resist a lot of signs and solutions that are good & wise when we (I) get anxious and/ or overwhelmed. When we (I) want to do things just right, instead of simply well enough.
After far less consideration and angst than is typical for me, I have chosen a word for my 2025: Explore
Literally, I will be exploring a new neighborhood & town, different foods & book genres, maybe jobs.
And I’ll also push myself into examining all the corners of this new part of my life: not-a-teacher. Mother-in-law. Artist? Actually attentive gardener? Postmenopausal woman, please, dear gods?
“Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.”
~ Frank Borman
…the place where my kids were born, where they grew up…there will be so much weeping.
Except, #LeoVirgoCusp of course.
I share your fear about committing to a word for the year, so I prefer the more open-ended approach of writing some goals for myself. Last year's goal was to get to my public library every month and check out books. This year I want to use a community pool to swim off-season. YOUR WORD, however, "explore" is pretty great!
Ooh I love this. I saw some others posting about different words or phrases for the year, and I have yet to decide (seriously thinking mine might have to be “Make a Choice!” and that would be amazing for my year). Happy house hunting!