what's good : sportsball season
breaking stereotypes & stigmas
Despite my better feminist ideals, I love watching (American) football. Like any decent fan I appreciate the athleticism and the strategy, but I also relish finding the layers of NFL players. I start with researching what they studied in college, branch out to their family history, look for passions outside of the sport. I’ve discovered that Vernon Davis was an art major AND owned a gallery in San Jose that highlighted local artists + organized camps & workshops for kids AND he runs the Vernon Davis Foundation to promote arts education and provide scholarships. I learned that Von Miller studied poultry science at Texas A&M AND was raising chickens while in the NFL (naming some after fellow players) AND now has a humane farm outside of Austin (I VOW TO VISIT NEXT YEAR, Von) plus he also provides eye care to low-income kids via Von’s Vision Foundation. Of course they play the sport well but also - LAYERS! Sometimes people [my dad] hate watching games with me.
I think I seek out these parts of athletes’ lives because I know how toxic the world of sports, professional or otherwise, can be. Beyond the rabid focus on wins and losses or wildly assigning praise or blame, so many equate football in particular with masculinity - the gross socially defined kind that looks and sounds and behaves a certain way. A way that ignores a spectacular range of presentations & personalities & interests in men, which all intelligent people realize can create significant mental issues. So on that note, I’m sharing a former NFL player/artist/activist/author’s work and a current college footballer/candlemaker this week.
In poetry: I bought R.K. Russell’s first collection of poems, Prison or Passion, not just because he signed it or because he once played for the Dallas Cowboys. And not just because he included a (also signed) typed personal poem, though I am a sucker for a special offer when it comes to books. (Or anything). I wanted to support a man doing something not typically celebrated in the male sports world - displaying genuine feelings in a healthy way. Namely, a bisexual man writing poetry. Russell’s work examines his life leading to football, addresses the traumas he experienced, and explores the feelings he ignored for almost too long. I chose this one to share because I love when a theme comes together but mainly because it speaks to my conflicted thoughts & concerns as a white, female, never-not-privileged fan of the sport.
NFL by R.K. Russell
My glass slipper had cleats attached.
I didn't have seven dwarfs but seven coaches
who never let me sleep.
Excalibur made of pigskin,
Camelot was a distant promise of greater lands,
Through the enchanted forest far away from the ghetto.
There were Villains. But my archenemies shared my name.
Comrades, warriors, brothers, and friends
that died along the way.
I think there's a princess but I haven't found a tower high
enough to hold my soulmate.
I fight dragons who breathe
depression, anxiety, and racism.
Waking atop bones of freedom
fighting knights who came before me.
Happily ever after isn't death.
It's riding off in the sunset with your dreams in hand.
It's where your true life begins.
For me it was making it in the NFL.
National Fairytale League.
In home décor: If you’ve never had a favorite candle, are you really living? I have to admit, paying more than $5 for something I’m going to literally burn into nonexistence because it smells nice for a while seems ridiculous. Seemed, I mean. Frères Branchiaux Candle Co. sells exquisite scents developed by brothers Collin, Ryan, and Austin Gill in their Maryland home. And they donate a portion of their profits to efforts to combat homelessness. Also, they send an adorable sticker of themselves in each shipment. I’ve bought bundles for myself and for gifts, though they are always hard to part with. They recently branched out to bath products and room sprays, which I also purchased gleefully. Life is so much better with good smells. (← That masterful tagline is a marketing freebie, guys).
The sportsball connection here is that the older brother, Collin, graduated high school last year and was looking to play football in college. I strongly recommended my alma mater Washington State University [#GoCougs] and offered to be a guide around Pullman but he chose University of Oregon instead.
I’ll never root for the Ducks, but I will still buy their candles.
In music: Last year I felt the need to listen to at least a little bit of music outside of my standard 70s/80s comfort zone, so when a hip celebrity mentioned Arlo Parks, I added her to my Old Person YouTube Music playlist. And though she, like Stephen Sanchez, Lil Nas X, and Post Malone, is just a bit past infancy, her voice + songwriting skills (she also creates poetry!) are extraordinary. I find her ethereal singing soothing, though like with Michelle Zauner/Japanese Breakfast, the themes & topics are often heavy and a little heartbreaking. Honestly, now that I think about it, this isn’t too far away from my Gen X favorites [The Cure, The Smiths, non-dance party Depeche Mode]. We old folks call it comfort in despair.
All good.1
No specific sportsball connection with Arlo - other than frank discussion of depression & mental health - that I could find, and I did search extensively for something more concrete for you…that’s why this week’s post is so late.
Anyway. Go Cowboys and Cougs and everyone seeking to be what others aren’t demanding.